Photo: FJ Martinez
Published in The Wild Word Magazine LOVE Issue on February 18, 2024
Nearly Father
Sam lunged for the door at the first knock so that Caroline wouldn’t wake. She hadn’t been sleeping well lately, getting up frequently at night. This pregnancy seemed different than the others.
“Are we really going out fishing?” asked Lincoln, Sam’s neighbor. At ten, the boy was wiry and bursting with energy.
“Nothing will stop us today.”
Pressing his finger to his lips, Sam handed Lincoln the fishing gear and snacks. He carried the bucket of bait. When he was Lincoln’s age, he’d never gone fishing with either dad. His birth father got seasick watching Jaws, and his stepdad, the Colonel, had no time for a boy. Sam spent time skateboarding with his friends, avoiding the cops. He’d often been close but never in real trouble. Sam said he didn’t care if his dad spent time with him, but that was a lie.
Lincoln and Sam had become fishing pals the year before after Lincoln kept asking Sam if he could go with him. Soon, slathered with sunscreen, they headed out of Miami Beach Marina in Sam’s single-engine motorboat he’d brought back to life over the last nine months, buying each replacement part one by one when he could afford it. With his own boat, he had options. He could take off for the Keys or go to the Bahamas on a whim. Today, they drove a mile offshore toward the cruise ship lanes, where he knew the big fish were.
After baiting their hooks, they laid out lines.
“I saw a gecko in the window this morning, Sam. They’re lucky.” Like most fishermen, Lincoln and Sam were superstitious.
“I hope you’re right. I heard a guy in Boca landed a marlin yesterday.”
Two hours later, they were silent – fishing, waiting, enjoying the ocean breeze and the gentle roll of the boat. When Sam was out on the water, his anger at his boss’s demands and worry over Caroline’s pregnancy would mellow for a few hours.
Sam turned away to pee off the side, and Lincoln’s line got a bite. The fish pulled out so fast that Sam barely caught Lincoln before his feet left the deck.
“It feels like something big,” said Lincoln, squirming like a puppy.
“As big as you. Brace yourself against me. It’ll be hard to explain to your mom if I lose you.” Sam heard himself and realized that was what a father would say. It was something he would say to his child. I’ll keep you safe.
A couple of years ago, the prospect of becoming a father was something he had dreaded, but Sam felt almost ready.
“What do you think it is?” Lincoln’s muscles were taut, his chin set.
“Hard to say until it shows itself. Hold your arm steady; keep up the pressure, no quick moves.”
Sam felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. “Hi, Caroline. How’re you doing?” Sam kept his arm around Lincoln’s waist and sat on the bench. “You sure? So soon? We’ll leave now. Everything will be fine. I’ll be there.”
Sam would be a new dad when many men his age thought of grandkids. He’d aimlessly drifted through a series of superficial relationships in his twenties, thirties, and most of his forties. His boyhood had few good memories of family after his parents’ divorce; his mom remarried and had more kids. He always felt out of place wherever he was, like an appendix, a vestigial organ. But Caroline had burrowed into his heart and changed him.
“I can’t believe it.” Lincoln pointed at the long blade projecting from the front of the fish. “It’s a marlin.”
Sam looked at the joy on the boy’s face. “Caroline is having a baby,” he said, not loud enough for Lincoln to hear. Lincoln’s parents were always too busy to take him fishing. The boy had waited over a month for this day. “Let’s get that fish in.”
Sam helped Lincoln pull back on his rod and spun the reel to shorten the line. He held Lincoln’s shoulders to keep him steady while he pictured Caroline’s pre-birth checklist. Her ‘go’ bag was packed. She had to find someone to walk the dog, but the car was parked in the alley with a full tank, and she knew the way to the hospital in her sleep. Sam’s conscience jammed in his throat, but he pushed it down. He’d always been good at hedging things. Caroline wanted to be a mother more than anything. She’d be fine.
“I can see its dorsal fin. It’s getting tired.” Lincoln was glowing, jumping up and down.
“Keep reeling it in. Don’t rush.” They worked as a team, pulling the fish closer.
Glancing to the north, Sam caught the flash of a speedboat going too fast. He turned Lincoln’s head and pointed. “Let the line go slack. He’ll slice it when it crosses us.”
Lincoln let out as much line as he could, as fast as possible, but it wasn’t enough. The speedboat cut the line, and Lincoln ricocheted onto the deck. The marlin disappeared into the sea, a hook in its mouth. Sam wiped the boy’s tears.
“Sorry, Linc. It was a beautiful fish. You would’ve had him if it weren’t for that idiot.”
“I want to go home.” Lincoln pulled on Sam’s hand.
“I need to find Caroline.” They should’ve left earlier.
Sam stowed the gear and held his breath until the finicky engine caught. He prayed to the sea gods he wasn’t too late as he tapped her number. “Caroline, where are you?” She was nearly forty. After two miscarriages, this might be their last chance.
The connection was bad. “I’m on …. Mainland …… a mile …… hospital……. Contractions……. Minutes…. Where are YOU?”
“On our way. I promise I’ll be there. Wait for me.”
To read Bernie at the Movies go to page 2
Suzanne C Martinez 